At some point during our twenties we begin to feel the onset of adulthood pressures. For some of us, that means graduating college and trying to find our first break in a career. It could mean moving out of our parents’ house for the first time, making our first big personal investment, or starting a family.
For a moment, we feel ready- because weren’t all of our experiences prior to 21 preparing us for that moment when we’re “grown” and can rely on ourselves? I recall anxiously awaiting the day when I could make my own decisions without question of parental authority, depend on myself to take care of all of my necessities, and work towards an amazing career that would pay me enough to take care of my family.
I now realize how unprepared I was to manage adulthood as it hit me full force. I thought I had the hang of it for a while. I managed to find a job within my industry straight out of college, I began to travel, I was engaged- eventually married, my bills were paid on time, I earned my MA. I was on track to winning at ‘adulting’ according to the life map I had created back in my teens. By 20-this I would be working behind the scenes to make a mark on my chosen industry, by 20-that I would be married and planning to start a family.
I was on my way; making strides… And I was drowning beneath the surface.
Growing up is more than finances, job titles, travel and romance. When you’re really faced with the opportunity for transformation, you begin to shed the layers of yourself that have kept you comfortable and realize that the tangible ideals aren’t satisfying if your mental and emotional needs aren’t being met.
Developing in womanhood meant addressing past traumas, unlearning limiting beliefs, and realizing how to let go of things and people that no longer served my growth.It meant addressing my struggles with anxiety and depression, stepping away from a relationship, developing spiritual practices, and realizing that I didn’t know how to love myself. It meant forgiving people who had hurt me. And it meant forgiving ME for all the pain I had caused myself.
It took years to realize this… All else would not fall in to place until I took the steps to begin strengthening my mind, body and soul.
Internal healing would equip me with the tools to face my struggles, and the vigor to appreciate the journey.
